I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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