Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
