My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
