I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
