honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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