boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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