mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
