i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
