so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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