In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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