Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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