he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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