you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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