You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
