The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
