well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize