he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i think i just lost a toe
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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