I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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