Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
