I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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