Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize