So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
