therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize