i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
