its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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