She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
