Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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