Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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