So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
