Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
