I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
