i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
