It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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