I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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