I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
