I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
