Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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