mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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