i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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