I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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