This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
false alarm, still single
Randomize