The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
