I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
is it fun? or sober?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
