she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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