How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
