Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
