He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
