There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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