he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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