i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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