Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
