He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
why is half of my head shaved?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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