she woke up with a sticky ear
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
