if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
