im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
