; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
