Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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