Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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