dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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