dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
