nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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